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My typical Halloween costume is officially that of a curmudgeon. This outfit requires me to dress like I normally do and to walk around with no signs of festivity. I have found this costume easy to pull off.

Yet, as Halloween rolls around yet again, as it always does, I reflect upon how I can approach it with a different attitude. I am not seeking to embrace Halloween fully, but how could I approach it with an attitude that recognizes the opportunity to speak not only into the lives of my children, but also into the lives of those that I may cross paths with during the evening?

Adjusted Mindsets

Mindset Adjustment #1: From “this is pointless” to this “provides growth opportunities.”

I have started challenging my assumption that the sole purpose of Halloween is to get candy; instead, I can see within this holiday opportunities to engage my children intentionally in experiences that help grow them into adults.

• For younger children: approaching an adult’s door provides an opportunity to discuss proper manners, practice speaking to an adult, and develop confidence. These skills will ultimately benefit them in life, particularly when they seek to engage in faith-filled conversations.
• For older children: learning to be gracious hosts and interacting with those who come to our door provides an opportunity to practice hospitality. How generous we are with the candy/item we select to give away can play into this concept as well. As our doorbell rings throughout the night, we can first model hospitality and then let our children take the lead.

Mindset Adjustment #2: From “I have it right” to “train my children to be in, but not of, the world.”

Faithful families can approach Halloween in different ways. Some can go “all-in” and celebrate with integrity, while others can take my killjoy approach and likely most land somewhere in between.

Recognizing this with humility, I can use our family’s approach to reinforce for my children that the way we live will not always look the way others live. This is a needle to thread carefully: a difference in family practice does not, by itself, make our approach right and theirs wrong. While some choices do involve questions of clear biblical right and wrong, at the core this is not one of them.

This situation is not unique to Halloween. There will be many areas throughout my children’s childhood where we make different decisions as a family than others do. At times, those decisions may reflect a central element of faith; at other times they may simply reflect a preference. I can use Halloween as one opportunity to help reinforce for my children how we can be in the world, but not of the world: how we can interact with and respect others who approach something differently while remaining confident and comfortable where we differ.

Mindset Adjustment #3: From “curmudgeon” to “participant.”

My participation will never be all-in, and I may still look like a killjoy to many. But I can change my mindset to actively engage in Halloween in ways that fit my personality and my family.

• Beyond accompanying my children while they trick-or-treat, I can express joy at spending time with them.
• I can take delight in their costumes, their creativity, and their desire to play dress up.
• I can play the role of welcoming host and greet neighbors and other children who come to the door.
• I can turn aspects of the evening into other lessons, such as sorting and organizing candy by type, much to my children’s chagrin.

Closing

While I will likely never be a fan of Halloween, and will consistently complain about the ever-earlier encroachment of Halloween decorations and materials in stores, I can choose to adjust my curmudgeon approach. Halloween can become yet one more opportunity granted to me to help shepherd my children toward faith that will endure into adulthood.